Book Reading and Signing, February 28th, at 5:00 PM

I've planned three book readings and signings: one in San Francisco, the next in Marin and another in the East Bay. 

The first one is here on Bernal Heights in my local bookstore: Red Hill Books. The address is 401 Cortland Avenue. I'll be reading from and signing Redemption Stories, Unwasted Pain, there on Sunday, February 28th at 5:00. You can read more about the event on Redhillbooks.com, the website of the bookstore. They will be supplying some refreshments, and there is a great coffeehouse right across the street, as well as several good restaurants within two blocks if you're hungry afterwards. Looking forward to sharing this book with you.

Redemption Stories, Unwasted Pain:Book Launched

I've been sending copies of Redemption Stories to all the people whose stories are told in the book. It's been a long time since I've had connection with some folks...so it's been great to hear back from those that have responded so far. 

Zaher and I spoke on the phone. His story includes overcoming racial hatred and a past of walking down some seriously dangerous paths, with members of his gang. I asked him what he was doing now, and he told me that he was working with youth in gangs in the East Bay, trying to encourage gang members to leave the gangs. We both remarked on how his earlier "education" (read Chapter 7 in Redemption Stories) positioned him to do this work well. His life is a good example of one of the two ways of becoming a Samurai--walking the low road. I learned this from watching my favorite film: Samurai--the life story of Musashi, Japan's greatest swordsman. The two main characters are Musashi, a juvenile delinquent who has great physical strength, and his opponent who has gone to the best schools and received classical Samurai training. Both become highly skilled, but Musashi's training comes mostly from walking the "low road." Walking out into the world and learning from every experience that he has. These two men end up as highly skilled, equal opponents in the films final fight sequence. Zaher took that low road, and his earlier hard experiences are transmuted into unwasted pain. It was good to hear how and what he is doing.

I also spoke to Cecelia (Chapter 11). She told me that she kept her "rebeemd" car another ten years, and when it got too old she found a young man, a mechanic, and sold it to him for one dollar. He was putting the work into it to keep it running.

So the book is launched on the internet. I've sent out about 500 emails, and about 100 post cards, and handed out business size card about the book to those who were interested. Now I get to watch what happens...what kind of life this book will have.

Book in Hand

"Birth of this book:
I remember the exact moment this book was conceived--in my psychotherapy office in the mid afternoon, (crows cawing in the Eucalyptus trees outside) talking to a woman who had been tortured as a child. I was encouraging her to rejoin the world that she was exiled from. She was not the first person I had worked with who felt shame and self-hatred because of what had been done to her, or what she had done; and who needed encouragement to see herself as worthy enough to reenter life--to reconnect to friends, family, community and spirituality. Up to that time I would recommend books and movies about people who had overcome situations which could easily have suffocated their will to thrive. Besides the grueling work of psychotherapy, these maps of other people's journeys back from exile were all I had to offer. I was about to recommend several volumes to this woman when the thought came to me, "I wish I had one book filled with these stories to hand to her." I saw an image of my hand extended out with a book held between my thumb and fingers. That first thought was immediately followed by another, "I would love to collect those stories myself." In that moment, this book was conceived."

The above quote opens the introduction of my book Redemption Stories, Unwasted Pain. Yesterday the first copies arrived from the Publisher and the feeling of holding them in my hand was overwhelming. I felt joy, delight, and relief...a deep soul relief of accomplishment of a task that had taken a long time, that I had turned my back on several times, and that was now real. That sounds so simple: real. But the project had started simply as an idea. I could have thought, "Good idea." and forgotten about it. But instead I followed it, and now the idea was a real book in my hand.

Great Article on Redemption Possibility

What follows is an article I found on Yahoo, called Shutdown Corner by MJD. I'm posting it in its entirety because It is one of the more eloquent writings on what redemption can be, and our hopes for it. I find that MJD has said it brilliantly, and I like the kind of heart that can think like this.

Thursday, Dec. 17, 2009
Chris Henry, dead at 26, could have been a role model
by MJD

"Redemption stories are the best kind of stories. If someone's failed, lost their way or made more mistakes than we deem acceptable, I always find myself on that guy's side.

I'm not there supporting what they've done or making excuses for them, but hoping that they'll find a way to be better. Hoping that they'll learn from their mistakes, grow and become the person they can be. In one way or another, I think we're all striving for that.

That's what Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry was doing when he lost his life this morning after falling out of a truck reportedly driven by his fiancee.

We know the guy had made mistakes, getting arrested multiple times and being suspended for half of the 2007 season, but those aren't important today. That was Henry's past. By all accounts, his future was better and brighter, because he had worked his tail off to make it that way. Changing your life is not easy.

Henry was doing it, though. In the preseason, his quarterback, Carson Palmer, had raved about Henry's work ethic and his ability. According to Palmer, Henry had a great offseason and had "really turned his life around." Unfortunately, his season was cut short by an injury when he broke his forearm against the Ravens on November 8.

He was 26 when he lost his life this morning. Just 26 years old. For as many headlines as he had made, it seemed like he should be older. The fact was, though, that he was still a very young man. He was just entering his football prime, and considering his natural gifts and the signs he had been showing before being put on injured reserve this year, he could have gone on to have a great, great career.

That's the tragedy here. It's not that we'll miss out on seeing a man who could have been a brilliant player, it's that someone who had once been so far down the wrong path could have come back. He was on his way. If things had continued to go the way they were headed, Chris Henry could have one day stood in front of the world as an example that no matter what you've done in the past, that your future can be better. He could have told the at-risk youth of the world, "Yes it can be difficult to change the direction of your life, but it can be done, and you have the power to do it. I did it, and you can do it."

What a great thing that could've been for the world to have. Too many times, a gifted person comes along, and we automatically make them a role model. Inevitably, they end up doing something to let us down. The truth is, though, that those were never the role models we needed. The role models we need are the people who let us down first, and then show the strength and character to fight back from that.

Sooner or later, we're all going to let somebody down. We're all going to screw up. But life is about how you come back from it, how you learn from it and how you use it to make yourself a better, stronger person.

Chris Henry was becoming that guy. And we could have used that.

Redemption Stories: Unwasted Pain

I wrote a book on the subject of Redemption. It's called Redemption Stories, Unwasted Pain. It will be out by Authorhouse in two weeks, by the end of December. The book is the culmination of 14 years of research and writing, and I'm pleased and relieved with the results. But I conceive of the book as only the beginning of what I intended and hoped that it would do: inspire people that seemingly impossible changes were possible. Show that others had made these very difficult u-turns in life. Create potential maps over very difficult terrain. Now I want to dedicate this blog to continuing that inspiration by having a place to post more redemption stories.

You know you have a redemption story when somewhere in it the person says to you, "I don't ever want to go through something like that again, and don't get me wrong. I'm not wishing it on someone else. But, I'm glad it happened because...." and then they tell you the benefits they got from the painful experience that they had.

Redemption stories are like that. You wouldn't wish them on someone else, you wouldn't want to go through them again, but you have found peace or equilibrium or some quality that has enriched your life because of the horror or difficulty that you went through. And you expect that it might be difficult for others who haven't had that experience, to understand why you are glad for it.

This blog is where I intend to publish further stories that come my way. I invite anyone to send them in. Here are the perimeters: 

1. They must be true.

2. If the story is about someone you know, you should have their permission to write about them, or significantly disguise their identity so that they can't be recognized in the story if you don't have their permission.

3. The tone and intent of the story must be respectful.

 I am inviting people to send redemption stories in to me. I'm new to this blogging business. There may be a better way to do this. But as of now, send stories to me via email: mciofalo@earthlink.net.